Contrary to popular belief, factual business improvement in the long run won’t be achieved at first glance. This is the vital issue to be questioned without any doubt. However, please do not mix it up with sarcastic although there are indeed undeniable similarities to be encountered once you get into it. Anyway, you should now be fully aware of the fact that the following pages intentionally contain many humorous connotations linked to the real SAP world with its diverse business environment.
Nevertheless, you have to know that my writing style is closely connected with Dilbert Management theories of Scott Adams [see The Dilbert Principle, 1996]. Summarizing this paper, I am very glad and content having written such a piece of art, which is supposed to be read by everybody who was/is still involved in similar projects like this. After due deliberation, I avoided to explicitly mention any names, in order to not bother or embarrass anybody. If, however, you feel offended to a certain amount, I would like to assure you, that it was definitely unintentional.
Get the Process Started! The idea is already born – the project has got its title – wording and naming conventions have been settled – conceptual prep work has been finished so far.
There is no doubt, at the very beginning of such a tremendous project, lots of issues have to be taken into consideration beforehand unless the whole idea is supposed to get out of one’s hands.
Can we rely on a realistic business plan? Below there is the spice of life: Did you already come across the so-called 6 phases of planning?
Here we go with the most vital aspects that need to be pondered about:
Enthusiasm: Might look differently in real life – in fact nobody really wants to be involved in the project; enthusiasm definitely needs to be redefined in terms of finding volunteers in the project team.
Confusion: Starting off doesn’t necessarily mean we are ready for the beef; clarification of any imaginable basics is badly required at this time.
Disillusion: At this very early stage of the process, the participants realize the impossibility of the project; even some tidbit of desperation might be perceived.
Finding a Scapegoat: As a logical consequence somebody to blame is detected pretty soon – there’s no way to hide in disguise.
Punishing the Innocent: In most cases, the weakest member of the group has to take over the loser’s role.
Bystander’s reward: Unbelievable but simply true in each case – somebody who doesn’t care at all will be rewarded unmerited – the winner takes it all.
These typical planning phases described above are most likely to happen in our business world.
How do you feel about them? Do they ring a bell in terms of your own experience so far? Is there anybody out who would seriously question this philosophy of planning? In case you would come across somebody please keep me posted. I am fairly curious about the results.
Do we have a sound financial (investment) basis which justifies our intentions due to potential fundraising necessities later on? Would you basically like to end up with a shoe-string budget solution?
Can we make sure that the contents and the scope of the project are well-defined?
Watch out – does everyone really know what’s it all about, what the title implies and means to the audience? Let’s get it right: do we just reduce the idea of this project to its mere abbreviation – like staying in touch for the sake of compliance – or will we bravely refer to its overall corporate identity, i.e. successfully bridging the gap between theory and praxis?
Have we chosen the appropriate business partner, i.e. who will be the proper consultant company that is going to accompany the project for a long time? As a matter of fact, there are surely many famous and renowned consultants, which are basically apt for this job and keen enough getting it. But what are the substantial criteria for choosing the one and only? I would be interested in this selection procedure eager to find out the prerequisites and assumptions.
So, how to figure out how to reasonably trust a serious consultant company? In this case just ask for an official piece of written proof such as its name. Doesn’t that sound credible enough for developing a valuable relationship?
Did we seriously think about the right team members to be involved in the process? This happens to be a real juicy topic which needs also to be discussed in detail.
By any chance do you know the German translation of Team?
In our company culture, it literally implies that somebody else is in charge of. It’s up to you now to verify this definition in your case. Probably it helps a lot to recall the story of Somebody, Nobody, Anybody, and Everybody which nearly every English class is going to refer to when tackling Grammar issues.
Disclaimer – All characters appearing in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. This piece of writing has mature content. Reader’s discretion is requested. Since I used extracts or portions from other people’s works for referential purposes I would like to give credit to the author, respectively Scott Adams.
Source by Hermann Grassl